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Do not send your ducks to eagle school

Published February 26, 2010 | By Martyn

An open letter from Jake to Albert.

Dear Albert,

I decided not to respond to your sarcasm and threats for these reasons:

  1. It is not one of ours.  Check the top of the invoice, it has a different company name
  2. Calling me a cupid stunt does not incentivise me (Edited for family readers)
  3. I am sorry “file permissions are incorrect” does not make any sense to you.  There is no need to let me know if you find a better way to say it
  4. I do not like you.

I was going to leave 4 out as its getting personal, but it is in direct response to your question why I do not respond to your messages instantly.  Perhaps if you were Kimberly Stewart asking me on a date you’d have better luck.

[flashvideo file=/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/do-not-waste-my-time-HQ.mp4 width=450 height=285 /]

If you are truly tired of living in Jerk City, If you don’t want every day to be a walk down Asshole Avenue, then learn to be civilized, learn to be reasonable.  Or don’t as there is no point sending ducks to eagle school.

Regards,
Jake

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Am I a Racist? Virgin employee thinks so

Published September 3, 2009 | By Martyn

I never thought of myself as a racist. With so many different definitions just being white probably means I am to some, but I try not to let culture interfere with my decisions.

Today I struggled to understand what the guy from Virgin was trying to tell me. They have a special offer and it meets with my budget. At least I thought it did. The guy began to explain the “extras” that I am “obligated to pay”. His poor English coupled with thick Indian accent meant I could not understand what he was saying.

After 5 minutes of this I felt like ending the call but I really am interested in Virgins 50mb broadband offer so I politely asked if there was anyone else I could speak to.

Although he didn’t call me a racist I could make out from his remarks that he was a “supervisor” and that anything I wished to say could be said to him. So I explained it had nothing to do with his performance per se, I needed someone who could speak to me in clear English and without an accent, that’s all.

With emotion swelling in his response I could tell I was not going to be passed on and while I can’t say that he said anything wrong I judge from his tone I was not going to join his long list of satisfied callers (I think that’s what he was claiming).

So with a sigh I thanked him for his time and said I would consider his generous offer. The truth is the opposite of course. If virgin sales staff struggle with English then how good are their support staff going to be?

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